I want to replicate a feeling. I'm going to replicate that
feeling...that feeling I felt that summer...that summer I'll never forget. I'm
looking for it. I'm creating it. I'm going to make it happen. It's looking for
me, too. It wants to find me. I want to find it. I will find it...because it's
mine. It's mine. It's always been mine. I can have what I want because 'what' I
want is accessible. It's beyond this place but not beyond this place at all.
It's larger than life and beautiful...more beautiful than anything I've ever
seen in this world. And, when it comes, when I feel it...when I taste it, I'll
know it. I'll recognize it. Because it's home. It's untainted and untarnished.
I have to humble myself. I have to work hard. But, it's doable and it's worth it.
It's worth it!
I haven't felt that feeling since. But, I'm close. I'm so close.
Just a little longer. Just a little more patience. And I'll have rediscovered
real beauty. Real peace. Real freedom.
It seems like such a silly thing, such a cliche when people say
that all the money in the world can't buy you happiness. Money helps. That's
for sure. But you don't need all the money in the world to find happiness right
here, right now. I swear...it feels like a switch was turned off and then
suddenly, it gets turned on...and the whole world lights up and everything in
it. Even everything outside of the world. The Universe, the Stars, the Moon and
the Sun...they ALL become so real. It's always been majestic and real. I just
couldn't see it. Oh wait, nothing exists outside of this world...How lovely.
Imagine all of the things and secrets there are to discover and reacquaint
myself with...Let them awaken those parts that have been dormant for so long!
I'm on my hands on knees. But, I don't have to beg. I just put
my hands together and I give thanks...give thanks for helping me see. And, I
ask to be pardoned for my ignorance, for my lack of luster. It only takes one
step, and then another, and another...to find yourself...to discover what you
are, what you're made of. I can have Heaven on Earth. I can experience Heaven
on Earth. I'm going to experience Heaven on Earth. Again. Because, it's my
right. It's my inherent right. I will remember.
Don't let anyone tell you that things are 'just the way they
are'. No. No. We create our own reality. There are things we can control and
things we cannot. Going with the flow prevents resistance. There are some
things we'd be better off going with the flow and other things where we ought
to resist. Resistance...the right kind...though it brings difficulty and pain,
builds character, builds strength...It helps you see how far and wide and deep
you actually move. How confined IS your 'space'? Even a spec of sand in my hand
can be seen as the world entire. I am that spec of sand. Perception can
liberate or cage...
So, I watch myself bloom. I see myself reach for the Stars. I
raise my head and hands to the skies. I bathe under the light of the Moon. I
long for what this life can bring. And, I can have it. I will have it. I do have
it. It's right....here.
