This my safe haven...right here. I don't wonder what to write about or how to impress an audience. I'm not sure there is an audience here, except for my muse, who leads and guides and ensures my ego is out of the way. So refreshing. So calming...in this space.
I'm having a difficult time with aging. The way young girls look at me at the coffee shop, the same young women who've served me time and time again, who fail to say hello. They look at me like I'm not of this planet.
I must appear irrelevant. I detest that 'look', their unwise eyes, who've yet to see the world as it really is. And they all remind me of one of my nieces. Gosh, there are times I want to shake her, force her to laugh with me, ask me questions, talk to me, converse with me...for fuck's sake, say something!
When their parents brag about her, I make sure to let everyone know who did it first...yes, that would be me. First female in my family to graduate from University. I'm also known as the gifted artist. So, when I get a snapshot of the young woman's future, I see what they don't and can't see yet...with all their dreams and notions about what the future holds for them and how great it's going to be.
Hmmm.
They know absolutely nothing. Even now, do you think I know anything with one hundred percent certainty? No. But, I'm told that makes for a wise person...
I can't stand bullies or the stench of arrogance. There's confidence...yes...but arrogance is another creature altogether.
When the world is your oyster but you haven't earned your place yet?
I ask my angel to lead the way. I'll follow. Just lead the way. Keep me healthy. Help me make better choices without having to provide a shock first.
May the next few weeks bring minimal interruptions, less irritations and not too many tears of frustration and hopelessness.
So Mote It Be!
It Is Done.
