I used to imagine myself working with the cops to bring justice to murdered victims. I had always been told I had a quality or skill (psychic) that was underdeveloped, that I'm spoken too, often, from the other side...but because of my fear, I fail to fully connect.
Okay. That didn't stop me from dreaming...or developing my reading skills (Tarot, Oracles)...and from drawing intuitively in response to a sitter's question about the future. I was amazed with the end results! After the drawing was finished, it felt like I had come back to myself. I'd look at them and wonder why I drew that or this image. And that was my first and only real clue that the process was real and authentic. I had gotten out of my own way.
Despite the darkness of death and horrible situations, Tarot and intuitive drawings add a little bit of mercy and a kind of magic that makes the process worthwhile. For starters, it feels so good to help people find some kind of peace...or to give a voice to the voiceless.
Yes, that's it. To bring justice to those who can't speak for themselves, who can't share what happened to them...my god, what better way to find meaning in this world? To give back?
It all needs to be tempered with hope and light. I think that's why I'm so affected by the death of Paul Armstrong - whom I wrote about in this blog back in February of 2010! That he should find his way back here now feels crazy.
I've watched so much Dateline and 48 Hours, that when I come across other documentaries, I know every one of those stories. The cold cases bother me the most. I despise cold cases so much, they've often kept me up at night. I feel so much rage. I then imagine myself and every bully I've ever known and give them a piece of my mind. And I am not merciful in that place. I'm a vigilante through and through.
There are two sides to me...one that is so kind and so tender. And the other is hard, fierce and warrior-like. You bet. I can't stand the evil-doers of this world, the barbaric and closed minded, and especially the bible thumpers who don't have a drop of compassion left in their bones, if they ever had any. They are judgmental and ooze a stinky tar like substance. They're also betrayed by their own stupidity.
I dislike any snake who tries to tell me about Jesus. It's pretty clear they've never met the man. How could they have? He resides in the heart...a place they fear to enter!
I went off on a tangent. I see darkness in so many places. If we don't shed light, we become voiceless among the living. We can't let that happen. Let's meet the darkness with a fierce and yet, peaceful light. Just remember, sometimes the light comes carrying a flaming sword!
I hate that Paul's a cold case, too. If there was a way of merging my drawing skills with my reading skills to help ease people's suffering in a real way - well, one that is meaningful to me - I pray that I'm lead to that path.
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