Nostalgia

I refuse to become obsolete, to lay down the red carpet for the young. This nostalgia, that used to be my life, is killing me. 

We didn't parade our achievements on social media the way they do now...for graduating high school! I find the whole thing bizarre. My first job was as a pharmacy assistant...at 16 years of age. Now, you need a degree. 

I have writing of my poetry and page after page of introspective thought that my university professor used to encourage me to read out loud so that others might know what he was looking for in our entries. It came so naturally to me. Not so much to the other social-work students.

I was a creative soul. Writing wasn't about outlining facts and details. Leave that to the journalists. I knew how to capture the essence of an idea or situation, a thought, a feeling, to show the other we were more alike than different. 

All my writing is reflective of that space we do not and are not capable of expressing or describing using our normal way of speaking. That's why inspirational talks are so moving...but they fail once the inspiration wears off.

Combining words and images...now that's a match made in heaven! By images, I mean paintings and drawings...not the kind marketers and advertizers use to get you to buy their product.

I don't want to become obsolete because of my age. I can't stand how arrogance has rubbed off on some of my nieces and nephews. Gosh, how it wreaks of stupidity...leading back to one or both parents. I notice a sweetness and kindness in those whose parents are humble. In the others, I see a kind of kid I would have never chosen to be my friend.

They remind me of those times in elementary and high school, when youngsters were snotty shits but their parents thought they were grand. You know the kind. I'll let you in on a little secret...they were mean and cruel little devils who had lost their innocence long before that.

You'd better realize, it's much worse now. They've got more bling to hide behind. When I come across those fuckers of the past now on social media, I see that they turned out exactly who I thought they'd become. They didn't outgrow themselves! Ugh.

The nostalgia I feel comes from my university days. I miss all those wonderful people, from every walk of life, who opened my eyes to what life could be. My world didn't include the jealous or arrogant. It was filled with love, joy and compassion. 

Not to put my culture down, but once I went to University, my old friendships dissipated and that suited me just fine. They were just such arrogant fools! So judgmental, such know-it-alls...and shallow as fu*k.

I imagine this cycle will not end in some circles. But, it did end with me and that will have to be enough.