No One To Be

I love moments like these, when you have no where to go and no one to be. I can take off my masks - employee, wife, sister, cousin, friend, consumer - and the everything is okay one, too.

People grasp for moments like these. And, here I am. I recognize them. I am them. They are me. I'm sighing and I know why. If I examine this moment too much, I'll lose the magic of it. Is this what they mean by a perfect moment? Because I'm living it right now.

And just like that, it's gone. I'm still here but not all of me. Parts are at home thinking about this evening...a moment that hasn't arrived, that I haven't walked towards except in my mind, and this moment does not yet exist.

I want to come back here again and feel the whole of myself. In this moment, I encapsulate all things and these things encapsulate me. Do you know the drugs people have to take to have an experience like this?

Through the right approach, I want for nothing. I love this feeling that's rooted from deep within. I love how only I can get there. I love how I can access it anytime I wish to. I love how nothing or no one can destroy it. It's mine. It belongs to me. It's my ticket out of here. Or rather, out of there...

Because here, in this place, in my castle...I don't want to leave or part from it. It's so beautiful. The textures and colours, oh my. And the way the light shines through the curtains? You can't fathom such beauty. 

It wells me up as I sit on a chair no one makes anymore, in a dress I'll never wear even if I was invited to the most glamorous of events. But here, right here, I can feel the material against my skin. I love how I feel in it. The length touches the floor. My hair is black and braided in Targaryen style.

I know what they say about needing people. But, I don't need anyone here. You can't need anything or anyone when you're experiencing a perfect moment...

...unless your perfect moment requires an other?