Dust

People who have no family envy those who have large ones. And those with large ones, like me, prefer peace and quiet...and more one on one interactions or very small and intimate gatherings.

I scratch my head when people get a taste of their own medicine and can't tolerate it. Oh, I understand the taste is bad. And that would be the point. It's always the same old story. They have no problem dishing it out - being thoughtless, selfish and uncaring. But then you decide to protect yourself, to put yourself first like they manage to do everytime, and you're the bad guy for not allowing them to walk all over you?! No thank you.

Finally, I'm behaving and reacting the way I ought to. I'm letting people be. Let them. Be. That's the beauty about being a lone wolf. You understand who you want to spend your precious time with. You understand who wants to spend their precious time with you, too. And, I'm learning and seeing that it isn't a whole lot of people. Vice Versa.

I want to talk about existence, the moon and the stars. I want to talk about meaningful things - how a painting or song can move the soul. I want to discuss the nature of the world, who came before us, how this story ends for all of us. I want this soul that is me, to flourish, my intuition, to become sharp. I want the core of me to be strong, to know that 'there' IS the only home there is, while I'm here on earth.

I don't care about your house or pool or how you can retire tomorrow. I don't want to hear about your savings or how so and so, didn't figure it out, how he's a schlub for being a drinker or for having fu*ked up children, as a result. I don't want to hear from anyone who only opens their mouths when they have something negative to say about somebody else. I don't care for their useless judgment. I don't care for their  pettiness or bloody shallowness that aims to keep us all tied to this earth, as though this is all there is. 

Oh, let me be clear. That would be all there is for folks like these. That will not be me. I refuse. The eternal resides within, not out there. May my kindred brothers and sisters find each other in this dark world. May we do from what we see. May we do from what we hear. May we not become dust. 

The Lighthouse

I'm here, again. Winter is coming. I lay my hands over my satin robe, open the large wooden shutters and take a peak outside. I see the tops of trees as far as my eye can see. The lot below surrounding my home is large. I feel it's too big. I think I'd feel more secure in a smaller space. Though there are more places to hide, the massiveness of this current dwelling attracts too much attention.

I feel a gust of wind...then wonder who else is around. I remember. I remember. I'm here, alone...again. Why I insist on a large place like this, is intriguing to me. So many rooms, beds, fireplaces, rugs, windows, stones...walls. I sense magic everywhere. I feel encouraged, inspired, motivated. Motivated to do what, though? I'm not quite sure.

I stare above the horizon. I wait for dark. I wait for rain. I wait for strong winds. I wait for storm. I imagine a lighthouse in my mind's eye. I'm always longing for something other than what is...right here in front of me. I can't help it. Here, I can use whatever colours I please, whatever medium, in whatever style. Who's going to tell me it can't be done?

Magic is here. I sigh and close the shutters. I head for the door and walk down the corridor...a long hall way where flames burn on either side. Soon, I feel a sense of warmth. Right now, in this moment, I only feel cold. But soon, really soon, the light and dark will coexist as though they had always been friends. Then, my heart will soar.